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Why are we fighting this
war?
Dunno, too much mission creep. Let's see, first we
wanted to get terrorists, but Iraq didn't have any, so
we decided to get weapons
of mass destruction (not including uranium
ammunition and cluster bombs - we're the good guys, so
we're allowed to commit terrorism with weapons of
mass destruction), but Iraq doesn't have any of
those either. Now it's to liberate the Iraqis, though
most of them are either dead or shooting at
us. (Update: CNN has
some footage of 6 or so suger-high Iraqi kids
dancing! That must mean that the 5 million people of
Bagdad voted for Bush!) Oh yeah, and there's also regime
change - Saddam's dictatorial regime isn't good
enough (What's up with his mustache? That's SO 1930's!)
so we'll replace him with a new dictatorial
regime. The new Saddam about to be installed says
that we're in "World War 4" and that Iran and
Syria are next on the blitzskrieg list. As for
the future regimes of those countries? They'll have
their eyes on all the other countries to
regime change - according to most of the republicans
I've talked too, that sounds like France and Canada.
What's the Coalition of the
willing?
Also know as the Coalition of the Killing, this
group consists of half of the USA, less
than half of Britain, and the governments of a couple of
countries either threatened, bribed, or conquered by Bush. Some of
our powerful allies? Well, there's Afganistan, which
will come to our aid once they've taught their police
how to march, or at least wear shoes, there's the
invincible panzer divisions of Rwanda (Well, maybe no
panzers, but they sure know a lot about how to commit
war crimes and genocide, so they're Bushie's type of
folks.) We;ve got Austrialian Kangeroo Cavelry. Oh, and
we've got the Spanish Armada. Well, okay, so we bribed
one of Franco's buddies. Why not? It's not like rich
people have to pay taxes for all these bribes and bombs.
Let the working poor pay the taxes and do the
fighting.
What are weapons of mass
destruction?
There's a lot of kinds of weapons of mass
destruction. For example, imaginary weapons. Yes, it's
possible to terrorize millions of Americans,
using just Colin Powell's imagination! Like those
railway cars with bio labs in them, which the media
suddenly doesn't talk about, now that we know they never
existed. There's those invisible labratories, that can
only be seen by spyplane photos on CNN a few months ago,
but not by our troops right now.
There's all sorts of shocking discoveries reported
by the
<"http://www.takebackthemedia.com/">news. For
example, gas masks. If you put one on, you look really
weird and scary looking, so you can terrorize people
with them (or just go trick-or-treating). And there
where boxes of gunpowder! Gunpowder looks kind of like
anthrax. Just think of the shocking discoveries CNN can
report once we've captured Bagdad's Donut Shops! I bet
there will be lots of icing sugar there, plotting to
have people mistake it for anthrax.
But the real question is, what ISN'T a weapon of
mass destruction? Is a dirty nuke a weapon of mass
destruction? Of course not. We're using radioactive
Depleted Uranium shells, which maim and mutate for
generations to come (AKA "Gulf War Syndrome"), but we're
the good guys, so we're allowed to maim and kill
innocent iraqi and American kids in four
dimentions.
Obviously if you kill thousands of kids with
cluster bombs disguised as food packages, that's not
terrorism. Who knows, maybe one of those kids knew how
to operate a boxcutter.
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